


You Will Be Found

by SpaceAlex718



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Gen, attempted suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-04 02:27:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10981443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceAlex718/pseuds/SpaceAlex718
Summary: Connor finds Evan lying under the trees-only minutes after Evan's attempted suicide. Evan has never felt more hopeless.





	You Will Be Found

Evan Hansen stood in the park, surrounded by trees as he stared up at them. He was going to be working here for at least a few more hours. Or, if Evan decided to go through with his plan, he would only have to work here for another minute or two. Will anyone miss me, he thought to himself. Will anyone even notice if I was gone?  
His eyes filled with water and tears streamed down his face. He didn’t have anyone. He knew it, too. He only has his Mom. Well, there was Jared, but he’s a family friend. Jared only talks to him because his parents make him. Evan didn’t even have a father anymore. His father knew that he would turn out to be a disappointment since Evan was young. That’s why he left and moved to Colorado years ago. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was it. He would do it.  
Evan turned to face the tallest tree in the park and looked up once again at its branches. Then he started to climb. The process went slower than usual, probably because he knew he wasn’t going to climb back down afterwards. His hands grasped branch after branch, his feet almost losing balance several times. Then he reached the top. He took a moment to look at the view from the top of the tree. It was magnificent. The perfect last scene. The most beautiful final moment. Then he let go.  
Although he wasn’t falling for long, it still seemed like an eternity. He felt the wind rush up against his back as he stared up at the sky, seeing the top branch get further and further away. He closed his eyes. And he smiled.  
Then he hit the ground, his eyes still closed. Everything hurt. Evan thought death was supposed to be peaceful, painless. Something was wrong. Then he opened his eyes, and he was yet again looking up at the trees. But now he was lying on his back, his left arm numb. His entire body hurt, but even that wasn’t as painful of the realization that he wasn’t dead. He was still alive.  
Tears immediately streamed down the side of his face as he lay there, covering his eyes with his arm. Minutes went by as he waited for someone to find him, for someone to tell him that he was going to be okay. Five minutes went by. Then ten. Twenty.  
He felt a Frisbee fly past him and fall to the ground beside him. Evan uncovered his eyes and opened them slightly when he heard footsteps coming fast his way. He turned his head to see someone running towards him wearing a gray sweatshirt. He had brown hair, which was long for a boy, the ends of his hair reaching his shoulders. Evan recognized him as a boy that went to his high school, Connor Murphy.  
Evan had a passing thought that, just like himself, Connor had no friends. He was always alone. Even his sister, Zoe, didn’t talk to him much. Connor stopped once he reached him, standing to his left.  
“What’s wrong?” Connor asked. Evan stayed quiet for a moment.  
“I-I fell. Out of a tree.”  
“You fell out of a tree?” Connor said, eyebrows raised. He laughed “Well that is just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” He stuck his hand out to help Evan up, who, in turn, took it carefully and stood.  
“Thanks.”  
“No problem. But what happened really?” Connor’s words make Evan close his mouth.  
“I told you, I fell.” At this, Connor gave him a knowing look as his face got serious.  
“Did you fall? Or did you let go?” Evan didn’t say anything to that. He just looked down and shook his head.  
Connor put a hand on his shoulder, causing Evan to look up. “Things will get better. I promise. Just do me a favor, and try to stay alive. Alright?” Connor smiled and Evan nodded, handing him the Frisbee.  
“I’ll see you around.” And with that, Connor ran off back towards his family. 

 

Evan was shocked, to say the least, when Connor’s parents called him down to the officer. Connor’s parents had told them that he had taken his own life. Evan didn’t know what to say. His mouth opened and his eyes went wide as he shook his head slowly. What could he even say to that?  
It was Connor, the boy that had saved him. The one who told him things do get better, and he was right. It did get better. He only wished that Connor had stayed around to understand that himself.  
Evan felt guilty somehow. He felt as though he should have found Connor before he took his life. He wished he had been the one to tell him that everything would be alright. But he wasn’t there to help him. He wished, at the very least, that he knew him better. He should have talked to him at school, should have approached him. But his social anxiety kept him from doing that.  
He stood in the rain next to Connor’s grave with an umbrella in one hand, and a single rose in the other. He had just gotten his cast off the other day. Evan looked down as he felt a tear fall from his eyes. He kneeled down for a moment and put the rose on his grave, grass already growing above. He felt his mother walk up behind him and he stood. She placed a hand on his shoulder and he turned around, careful to keep their umbrellas from bumping into each other.  
“It’s time to go,” she said, giving him a sympathetic smile. Evan nodded and they walked out of the cemetery.


End file.
